Christmas Eve Chronicles

I’m – very unexpectedly – heading down to DC via Amtrak right now. These past 48 hours have been a bit all over the place due to the fact that I was confident I could host actual fucking OVOfest in the confines of my own home.

Told ya’ll I have no chill.. whosoever. I’m an idiot.

Not to glorify any of it but I think I should make this disclaimer before even getting into this post. I need to do less in every sense of the word. My New Year’s resolution is to no longer partake in shenanigans. Or, not even to go that extreme.. just don’t be such a fucking party girl. *sigh* ..one day.

I’ve been on this train for a couple hours just sort of reflecting on this past year. Last night, I went to dinner with a couple of my best girlfriends and we each discussed what was the best and worst part of this year. Initially, I couldn’t really pinpoint the peak or the pit of 2014.

I acknowledged the fact that I felt I was in a really good place this past spring. Academically, it was the best semester of my collegiate academic career, which is definitely one of the top three highlights of 2014. I was just in a really good place mentally, spiritually, and definitely emotionally. Physically too though, my fat ass started to drop some weight and I was running almost everyday. I finally (thank God) was in a positive space in regards to my three year on again/off again relationship that finally came to an end.

I felt more liberated than ever and I was definitely the happiest I’d been in a minute. The thing with relationships is that they can be such addictions. Take away that one person you’re so dependent and attached too and it’ll literally feel like your body is going through a withdrawal. Love is a hell of a drug; possibly the strongest of them all. An excerpt that always stuck with me is the following: “the strongest drug that exists for a human is another human being.” That’s fuckin’ real.

I had regained my sense of independence and was absolutely loving it. You couldn’t tell me shit.

While I still do have a ways to go, I’m happy with the growth I made as a woman this year. Don’t misinterpret that in a way that I don’t need to change some ways about myself because I can go on and on about ways I can better and alter certain things about myself. All in due time though. When you’re happy with the person you are and your life, every other aspect in it will come together. Believe that. 

Especially in terms of who you surround yourself with. I’m so thankful for the new friends (yes Drake, NEW friends) I’ve gained this year; you guys know who you are. Also, I’m super thankful for the old friendships I’ve been able to restore. Cut off that dead weight that doesn’t contribute to your growth in a positive way.

If I learned anything this past year it’s this: everything I’ve gone through was either a blessing or a lesson. Learn from it, that way the only direction you can go is up.

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