Since I’ve moved down here, things have been relatively slow in relation to how my life is in Connecticut. Constant. Lively. Entertaining. Familiar. All of that as well as destructive in some cases. I’ve touched on my previously relationships loosely in prior posts. Aside from right now, the last time I was ever really single was when I was 16. 16 year old Raven & 21 year old Raven are two entirely different people. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Spring 2014 was a breath of fresh air, which I desperately needed. I had begun to establish a sense of independence, which is monumental after being so reliant and co-dependent on my previous boyfriend.
I felt like the old me.. like my only responsibility was too myself! That’s it. It was so refreshing. When I previously explained the peak and the pit of 2014, I focused on the fact that spring 2014 was a really good time for me. Good vibes all around.
No boyfriend? Not having to answer to anyone? Hell yeah, and it’s about to be summer? It would be unAmerican of me not to have the best summer of my life, right? I think I pretty much fit the whole party girl stereotype simply because I’m always in favor of going out, turning up, and having fun. Goin’ up Thursday thru Sunday. On the other hand, what I’ve come to realize is this: being sloppy at every function isn’t cute. By any means. And yes, at the time it’s so much fun until you wake up and look at those Snapchat stories from last night. It’s happened too many times to even mention. Especially over this past year. I guess you can say I wild out.. more or less.
But boys are funny. The things they look for in a female are always so contradictory. They want someone to have a good time with who isn’t boring, but not a party girl. They want some who is modest and pure, but a freak at the same time. They want someone who every man craves, but a female no one has had. They want a female who is about something productive, but still down for the shenanigans. All these expectations. (Some) girls are constantly grooming and constructing this somewhat unrealistic model to fit what men want. On the other hand, there’s the percentage who could care less entirely. To those of you who don’t try to fit this image, I applaud you!
While I could be in the house all day everyday, (with the exception of work and school), I don’t want to be laid up by my damn self watching reruns of Love and Hip-Hop and eating buffalo wings. Why put restrictions on my happiness just to prove I’m “wifey-material”? Ya’ll are out here doing every and anything under the sun; the double standard is mind-blowing. At the end of the day, I know what it is I bring to the table. Why sit at home and twiddle my thumbs when I can be enjoying the fuck out of my twenties? Fuck your expectations. It’s so cliche to say, “you only live once” ..but it’s true! Drake could not have spoken truer words.
Until I find my perfect guy (a mixture between Swaggy P and Stalley.. with a touch of Trey Songz and Chris Brown minus the abuse lol), I’ll be out living my life. Remember, you’ll never be as young as you are right now.
I guess I’m always just pushing for people to do what they want at they end of the day.