I want some new ink, my nephew, 5 million dollars, and a hug.
So lets just begin there..
Besides my three hour sociology class this morning, I’ve had the luxury of having a fairly slow Monday.. which is pretty rare. School has been pretty manageable so far this semester, nothing extremely strenuous. I’m enjoying my job thus far. The shifts at V$ go by pretty quickly and I’m making a decent amount of pocket change. No complaints there. I guess when I first moved down here I was so excited about starting something new, living in an entirely different environment without the stress of parental units monitoring my every move. I just needed s p a c e. To just breathe, ya know?
I think I’ve now experienced both the up and downside to living alone. In the beginning, I stressed how spending time alone allows you to establish and better understand the relationship you have with yourself. I reposted this quote a few weeks ago: “loneliness is dangerous. it’s addicting. once you see how peaceful it is, you don’t want to deal with people.” In one of my previous posts, I dedicated an entire article to glamorizing this idea of independence. While I stand by everything I wrote, growing up in a family of five I’m just simply accustomed to the presence of people, of just bodies alone, around me.
It’s weird coming home to such a quiet house, and to be totally honest.. I miss my mom. A lot. I guess you can say I’m kind of homesick now. Yes. I’m absolutely in my feelings today. If that’s the worst of my troubles then I’m doing ok.. right?
Since I’ve been down here in my own space, I’ve managed to adopt some new ideas and feelings while living dolo. Peace of mind. Understanding. Reassurance. A newly established sense of focus. While I can go ahead and write an individual post for each, collectively they’ve helped me realize this: while time is constantly fleeting, it’s vital to remain focused on the reality of right now. Simultaneously eliminating all toxic habits, people, and energy.
Be mindful & present. Come to terms with what was and solely focus on your present self. Keep in mind that you’re still learning, evolving, and constantly creating/editing the best version of you.