Feel Me?

It’s pretty obvious how energy obsessed us millennials are.tumblr_nj404s9Hfs1sse8pjo1_1280 Good Energy. Bad Energy. Good vibes. Bad vibes. Almost every morning I wake up to a “good vibes only” tweet. Declaring constantly that we base our interactions with everything on the vibes we sense initially.

It’s always interesting to me to see who it is I’m super compatible with. I’ve come across some really dope people over the years and I always appreciate people who I’ve had the opportunity to become super cool with. Especially in terms of opening up to people, I’m never willing to be 100% raw with anyone untilI I can feel some sense of trust. Surrounded by artificial people constantly, I’ll never take for granted those of you who’ve been real with me.

In terms or baggage, I’m always mindful of how much I unleash on someone. Sometimes expressing our deepest indiscretions, insecurities, and flaws can hinder a relationship with someone. But, it can also help two people grow. I learned things about myself from someone else because they were able to give me another perspective, sort of like from the outside looking in. I realized qualities about myself I never really knew. 

Anyways. At the end of the day, we all have skeletons that we eventually want to unload on someone. Looking to confide with an individual without the slightest doubt that it’ll scare them away. I saw a picture on Tumblr that said the following: “I just want to pour my soul out on someone and not have to worry about the mess I’ve made.”

Ain’t that the truth.

I’ve been so lucky to have experienced a relationship with someone who I loved, but who was also my best friend. That’s something I wish for everyone to experience. To experience the beauty of finding a person who can not only be your lover, but also your best friend. That, I will definitely say, is the best connection I’ve ever experienced with another human being. The feeling is definitely unparalleled.

Looking back on my own experiences, I’m always a bit hesitant when letting someone in because I know how I can be. I know my best and worst qualities and I always want someone to know what they’re getting into before they indulge entirely. That’s something I definitely have to change about myself, I’m very self-destructive in a sense of the relationships I do have I often hinder them before they have a chance to go left. Basically living the mindset to “fuck it before it fucks you.” No exceptions, no disappointments is definitely a mindset I internalize. But, don’t inflict turmoil before it even has an opportunity to rear it’s ugly head. Never create something that isn’t there.

While my confidence may be sometimes misleading, I’ll be the first to say I have a lot of shit with me. I’m still young, and growing. Still learning new things about myself everyday. I’ve valued the solitary time I’ve had with myself to work on me. Before I ever decide to open up to someone entirely again, I’ll definitely make sure that I’ve grown and evolved from where I am now. It’s definitely significant to be your own best friend. Take time out to focus on you because at the end of the day, you’re all that you have.

My mom always taught me to be independent. To never be dependent on anyone else. Self sufficiency was instilled early on. Always let ‘em know that you might want them, but you’ll never need them

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