I have to speak on this particular matter because I deal with situations revolving skin tone and colorism on the daily. I wrote about this topic before but I had to revert to my original post and tweak a few things. I’m almost positive I can speak on the behalf of women with my similar complexion that the statement: “you’re pretty for a dark skin chick” is in no way, a compliment. I’ve heard every possible defense and it just baffles me when anyone tries to back up the statement with the justification that it is, in fact, a compliment.
“You pretty but I don’t really fuck with your complexion.”
“I don’t usually mess with black girls, but you straight!”
“If I mess with a dark girl she gotta be REAL pretty.”
I absolutely understand that everyone has his or her own preference, whatever that may be. If you don’t usually find females with my complexion attractive, that is your business. The whole “for a dark skin girl” statement blows me though. That’s to say the majority of us are unattractive, but there is an occasional diamond in the rough among the masses.
To even take it even further. To be questioned if you’re mixed with something just because “there’s no way you can look like that and just be black.” What is that to say to someone?
In addition to that, can some of you girls stop telling people you’re mixed with something (Portuguese, Indian, Malaysian) as if just telling people you’re just black isn’t enough? Just because your weave is foreign doesn’t mean you are. Not to knock some of you; I’m sure there’s a good chance many of you are mixed. But, some of you are just as black as I am. Families straight from down south like most black Americans I know.
Just be happy with the skin that you’re in despite what anyone has to say about it. Stop taking half-assed compliments, even if they begin with the typical, “what’s good chocolate” approach. I have to be honest with you guys; something about being called chocolate in an admirable way makes me smile every single time.
The whole light skin / dark skin colorism war is so dated now. From what I understand, this has been happening in our culture for generations. As if we don’t have enough cases of discrimination, biases, and judgement directed towards us, at a minimum, we can prevent this divide within black culture. I’ll never be one to scold people for whatever their particular preference might be, but don’t continue to shit on the women that represent and reflect the beauty of your own history and culture.
Kelly Rowland, Tika Sumpter, Teyana Taylor, Naomi Campbell, Gabrielle Union, Lupita Nyong’o; do I need to mention more?